Roller-Coaster Ride

I feel like a pendulum swinging wildly b/w euphoria and absolute fear/heartbreak. I do not know why, but i feel more emotional today than i have usually done lately.

Today is day 6 since the transfer. I do not know whats happening to my body- sometimes i feel as fine and fit as a fiddle. At other times i start having aches and pains which seem more imagined than real. I do not know whats up.

Late night before last, inspite of my million promises to myself, I found myself searcing google for 'early pregnancy signs and symptoms'.....isn't that just stupid? and that search led to looking for more info about the viability of 3-day vs 5-day blast transfers. And one site said that 5 day blasts have the ebst chances, 3-day embryos have lesser chances. Mine were 3 day ones i guess, or maybe 4 day ones? dunno abt that......clinic wasn't very clear on that one and i never thought to ask. Anyway, this bit of info really freaked me out and i started feeling all of this is going to go down the drain.....I felt scared scared scared!! And then I got ahold of myself by reminding myself that 'if something has to happen it WILL against ALL ODDS, and if something has to go wromg it will against all odds too'. which means that there is just no point in being worried!!

Then, yesterday, i spoke to Dr.S about if i can start getting back to my usual way of lofe, now that 4 days had passed post ET. He gave the Go ahead, so last evening M and I went out for dinner with A( who's visiting from Mumbai) and M and S who are back in town after 2 years. It was fun meeting up with all of them and I had a good time inspite of a nagging backache.

Today mornig, i felt OK, but then dunno what happened, as the day progressed, is tarted feeling low...dunno why- w/o any reason.I guess I am just bored and lonely with nothing to do and nowhere to go to since our driver is on leave 'coz he's unwell. the weather too is very clammy, with overcast skies and its very chold and chilly in the house.

I guess i am sounding too much like a whiney person, and I am not like that really. So timet stop the whining.

I took my last dose of Duphaston last evening( of the 5 day dose).

Thats it for now, ciao and more later.